In Loving Memory: Joey Kohut

It’s been a couple of weeks since Eddie “The Editor” Chops contacted me to let me know La Palabra was going back into print, and that I could write about anything I wanted to. I was psyched to hear it and excited at the prospect of another dozen or so people trying to decipher my ramblings. But here we are less than a week before the deadline, and I’ve got nothing. I’ve been having trouble getting ambitious about much of anything as of late. For those of you who don’t know my cousin, former band mate and longtime best friend Joey Kohut died in early June during the zine’s sabbatical. His years of alcohol abuse had caused him to have seizures on a pretty regular basis that were eventually fatal. Now I’m not here to demonize alcohol (it’d be career suicide in a zine whose board of directors is largely comprised of a group called The Somerville Town Drunks) I’m here to point out that there’s really something to the theory of drinking being a serious problem when you do it alone too often. Those who knew Joey prior to his reclusive last few years knew a fun loving, confident, dynamic little imp of a man who while very much an instigator would happily offer whatever assistance he could to friends and strangers alike. He threw all of himself into everything he did. Sadly that last part remained very true with his drinking. It began as with many of our peers in high school as a rebellious thing. In the beginning the goal is to get as drunk as possible as fast as possible preferably for as little money as possible. Eventually the connoisseurs learn what they like and what they don’t and only go with the former. As crazy as it sounds they might even moderate their intake and savor things. But Joey was always “all or nothing” and looked at such things as half-assing it. In many facets of his life this mindset was admirable, but when pertaining to his love of straight vodka it was not conducive to longevity. When he and I first became enthralled with punk rock and ska followed very shortly by learning about the existence of the local scene it provided us with all of the excitement and catharsis we needed. Our fascinations with the genre and the culture seemed to be focused on different features of it. While I was more into the camaraderie and the actual creative output Joey seemed much more interested in the chaos and the rebellion. Binge drinking was definitely idealized among the factions who focused more on that particular element of things. When the passions for the music and culture were combined with the drinking Joey’s outlook on attending shows gradually shifted. They started out being expressly about the music. Shortly after that it remained mostly about that with the added incentive of being able to get drunk before, during or after the show. Somewhere a little further in those last two parts were reversed and shows became a place to drink with the added incentive of seeing bands. Not much longer after that he decided he’d cut out the show part entirely and just focus on the drinking. The money spent on gas and the cover charge seemed better suited for purchasing alcohol and holing up in his room. Readers if you take anything from this please avoid that path. Everybody’s got their vices, and that’s fine, but don’t live solely to feed said addiction. I was told this was a double issue, and that I could contribute two articles if I saw fit. This more melancholy offering was to mourn the death of my cousin by circumstance and friend by choice while the second one is about celebrating his life.

Joseph Walter Kohut was born January 25, 1983 in Flagstaff, Arizona. I was born six months prior. My mother and I flew out to visit my newborn cousin and his parents, but for obvious reasons I don’t remember this trip. Somewhere shortly after this they all moved back to Jersey where both of their families lived. Many of my earliest memories of family outside of my parents are of bonding with the cousin of mine I was closest in age with at our grandfather’s house. However since we were both only children and not accustomed to having to share anything be it toys or attention we didn’t much care for each other in these earlier years and would often fight. I don’t remember when Joey’s parents divorced, but it was definitely sometime prior to his being old enough to attend school. After that my parents always tried to include him in things we did as a family and in time we grew closer. As my father would make me mixtapes of songs he thought I’d enjoy from his records I’d copy them for Joey, so we bonded predominantly over music since well before either of us took up an instrument, but once I got my first guitar and he quickly followed suit we became pretty much inseparable. We’d each boast at our respective middle schools to our classmates about the band we were in with our awesome cousin despite minor details like not even knowing basic chords yet or not having a drummer. In the years that followed we got better and had been in actual full bands together from 1996-2008. Somewhere closer to the beginning of that time we became aware of the local punk and ska scene and quickly switched over from ripping off Nirvana style riffs to trying our damndest to write punk rock. Shortly after the turn of the century he realized he was much better at drums than guitar. For as close as we were and for all the common interests we had we were also very different. Joey was fearless and indestructible when it came to anything on wheels. From what I’ve heard from mutual friends of ours that went to school with him he also didn’t seem to be messed with much as he seemed to know from much earlier on not to show any sort of reaction to douchebags trying to get a rise out of him. He also from his youngest days on through his last years never grew out of his love for any toy that transformed from one thing to another, anything pertaining to martial arts, horror movies or weapons. In 1998 he was the first of us to chop the long grunge hair we both had into a mohawk. He shaved my first one in for me the following year. He also lacked any sort of fear/level of caution for handling animals domestic or otherwise. Part of me always laughs thinking of how he should have parlayed that into a career as one of those animal experts you see on talk shows just without the knowledge they exhibit just him being like “umm yeah this is an alligator. They hate when you taunt them like this”. One of an infinite amount of fond memories I have of him involves a trip we took to Merrill Park nearby his house where we often grew up killing time looking at the various animals. One of the small turkeys got loose, and he just scooped it up without any hesitation and walked around carrying it for a while. The turkey seemed oddly at ease with this. Joey’s summation “yeah he’s chill. He’s just like “hey what’s up? I’m a turkey”. After he returned the bird to the proper side of its enclosure he wanted to playfight. He fancied himself a master of several forms of martial arts despite having only seen movies as opposed to taking any kind of formal lessons. His usual go-to style was drunken fist as he’d seen Jackie Chan’s “Legend Of Drunken Master” a few dozen times too many. I, who actually had taken karate for a few years from elementary school into my early teens, would humor him and impress people watching by being surprisingly nimble and flexible for a fat guy. This particular bout however ended with me splitting my pants when trying to perform some kind of head level kick. He was both a blood relative and my best friend, and the world will forever be a much lamer place without him. IN LOVING MEMORY OF JOSEPH KOHUT 1983-2011.

Now The Water's Boiling

Chops' Chickpeas

super easy snack or side dish.  Makes 3.5 servings

1 can of chickpeas/garbanzo beans

1 packet of sazon

1/4 cup peppers (red, green or whatever color you want)

crushed red pepper flakes

Combine all the ingredients (except crushed pepper)in a pot (or pan), cook for about 10 minutes, add pepper flakes on top and serve.

JC Heights Liquor Store review

I live within walking distance of about 15 liquor stores.  These are my favorites:

Lee's Liquors(Congress and New York)- This is the closest to my apartment and the one I visit the most.  Good selection of 1/2 pints, $2.50 Olde English 40's(cheapest in the neighborhood), and a bunch of different tallboys.  But the best thing about this place is their buy a bottle of wine and get a tie for 10 cents promotion.  That's right, when you walk in you see tons of ties around the bottles of wine.  I don't get it but it makes me laugh every time.

Ace(Congress and Cambridge)- Ace is the place.  Tons of 1/2 pints(more then I think I've ever seen in a liquor store), Colt 45 and O.E. 22's, and a nice dude behind the counter.  Probably my favorite liquor store in the neighborhood.

Willie's Liquors(Central Ave)- They got Boone's Farm here($4).  That's the only thing I've ever bought here because I gotta pass Lee's and Ace to get here.

The Palisade(Palisade and Hutton)- This is probably the best liquor store in the heights.  Great selection of beer, from cheap shit to lot's of micro brews, 22's, plus it's one of the only liquor stores with a ample selection of actual hard liquor.  Good prices too.  This is the store I go to when my girl wants beer.

Central Ave Wines(Central Ave)- Alright, this one is not really walking distance but it's got 3 things these other stores don't have.  1. A website(Centralavewines.com).  How many liquor stores have one of them.  2.  Billboards.  Yeah that's right, billboard advertisments all over the city.  You know these guys gotta be ballin' with billboard money. 3.  Coupons.  I got to admit, the first time I bough beer with a coupon I was a little embarresed but twelve Coors 24oz tallboys for $9.99 is nothing to be embarresed about.

Not so famous 2 sport athletes

Everyone remembers Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson but do y'all remember these not-as-famous 2 sport athletes.

1. Dave DeBusschere- You should actually remember this dude because he was a two time NBA champion(both with the Knicks) and one of the greatest power forwards of all time(one of the NBA's 50 greatest players and a Hall Of Famer).  But, if you do remember him, you probably don't know that he was a pitcher for the Chicago White Sox.  His baseball statistics weren't quite as good as his basketball ones, 3 wins - 4 losses - 1 complete game (it was a shutout though) - and 1 hit in 22 at bats, in his short (April 1962-September 1963) MLB career.

2. Danny Ainge- Here's a guy you should also remember(or should know because he runs the Boston Celtics right now), but this guy(also a 2 time champion as a player and 1 as a GM, all with the Celtics) had a very forgetable baseball career like Mr. DeBusschere.  Ainge was a utility player for the Toronto Blue Jays, hitting a mediocre .220 with 2 home runs and only 146 hits in 211 games.  He is however the youngest Blue Jay ever to hit a homer at 20 years and 77 days.

3. Brian Jordan- Now this guy is probably remembered more for his baseball career then his secondary profession, patrolling the secondary for the Atlanta Falcons.  As a baseball player he was a respectable .282, 184 homer runs, and 821 RBIs.  I loved this guy because I worked with a Mets fan and this guy KILLED the Mets while he was an Atlanta Brave, and it burned this guy up that it seemed like BJ was up at bat whenever the game was on the line.  BJ was however,  was not just an outfielder.  He was drafted by the Bills in the 7th round of the 1989 draft.  After being cut he was signed by the Atlanta Falcons as a safety(he didn't play for the Braves and the Falcons at the same time like Neon did though).  In only two years he did rack up 5 picks and 4 sacks while working his way through the St. Louis Cardinals system as an outfielder.  Once the Cardinals offered him a bunch of money to play baseball, it ended his football career.

4.  Willie Gault- Now this guy is an American hero.  Not only was he a part of probably the greatest NFL song ever(the Super Bowl Shuffle) he was also an Olympic Athlete.  Willie would have been a two-time Olympian if the US did not boycott the 1980 Winter Games(he was a member of the 4x100 meter relay team), but he did make the 1984 Winter Games(as a bobsledder)  In the NFL is where he made his money while being a pretty good wide receiver and kick/punt returner. 

5. DJ Dozier- Now this guy was not a very good player at either sport, but he did make to majors in both.  As a running back for the Vikings and the Lions he played only 4 seasons compiling 691 yards for 9 TDs.  But DJ's baseball career was even shorter and less prolific.  As an outfielder for the New York Mets he batted a lowly .191 BA with 4 stolen bases, 19 strikeouts and 1 error in the outfield.  The reason why this guy made the list - I was there when he commited that error, that led to runs, and the drunk guy next to me heckled DJ to no end(he kept yelling "Ya can't catch a football OR a baseball!!!)  That's the only reason why I remember him at all. 

Honorable Mention - Julius Peppers - College basketball as a very good Power Forward at UNC and then as a defensive end in the NFL, Kenny Lofton - College basketball as a point guard with Lute Olsen in Arizona and many years in the MLB, Donovan McNabb - Final Four with the Orangemen and a Pro Bowl quarterback, Drew Henson - Topped out in football and baseball at Michigan, but the Yankees AND the Cowboys both wanted him at the same time, Jim Brown - Ask Grandpa and he'll tell ya he was the greatest running back of all time, but, ask anyone who saw him play other sports at Syracuse(basketball, lacrosse and track) and they will tell he was one of the greatest athletes of all time, Jim Thorpe - the greatest athlete of all time.  Olympic Gold Medal winner in the pentathlon and decathlon along with being a professional baseball, football and basketball player.

Pater-Son

The Great Falls of Paterson

Awhile back I read an article entitled "New Jersey's Bucket List" and it was exactly what you would expect it to be - a list of shit to do in New Jersey before you die.  Most of it was either stuff I had no interest in or stuff I've already done.  The one that really got me was number 10 "Visit the Great Falls in Paterson".  I didn't know much about Paterson except 1. It was hood.  I mean the movie Lean On Me was about Paterson's Eastside High School.  2. The Colt revolver was invented there.  That's right, the gun that won the West was invented in a cold, hard industrial city right in our backyard.  3. They had falls.  Great ones apparently.  Well leave it to the boardem of unemployment and the suggestion of a magazine and next thing you know I'm on Rt. 80 following signs for downtown Paterson one day to check it out.  When I got off the exit I realized some stuff.  Number 1 - I was correct about number 1, it WAS hood(at least hood looking, a Colt probably would've calmed my nerves) and Number 2 - there are falls and they're great.  I parked in the lot at 65 McBride Ave and checked out the statues, plaques and monuments (you can actually ring the bell, you'll see) they have describing the Falls and the factories that helped shape New Jersey's third largest city.  Then walk across the street to the foot bridge that crosses right over the falls.  From here you can see the 77 foot drop into the Passaic River and get a good look at the mills that have powered Paterson since 1793. Continue across the bridge and down the path and you'll find a set of stairs that will give you a different view of the falls.  After that you can go to Libby's (98 McBride Ave), one of the state's many legendary Hot Dog joints.  That's it, there doesn't seem like a lot of things to do in Paterson and if there are I didn't want to find em.  But the Falls are great and I agree with the author of the article that it should be on everyone's New Jersey bucket list.  Two suggestions I have are go during the day and don't go alone.  

The Jersey Jumper

Sam Patch came to Paterson to work in one of the many factories that surrounded the Falls in his early twenties.  One day he decided he would jump from rocky cliffs into the turbulent waters below, all 77 ft of it.  On Sept. 30, 1827 a large crowd gathered to see the new Chasm Bridge open and Sam took the leap and lived to tell about it(he actually made the jump several times).  He later was quoted by the papers as saying "There's no mistake in Sam Patch".  The Jersey Jumper was born.  Almost a year later he jumped from a mast of a ship that was 90 ft high into the Hudson for a huge crowd gathered on the Hoboken waterfront.  Sam gained fame and fortune jumping from bridges and cliffs, and in 1829 made his most famous leap - over Niagara Falls.  This guy jumped Niagara Falls.  That's pretty badass.  His next stunt didn't end so well though. He tried his luck by jumping the 125 ft high cliffs of the Genesee River (Rochester, NY) and died when, according to an autopsy, he suffered a ruptured blood vessel caused by the cold water.  That's how the Jersey Jumper's life ended but his legacy will live on forever.