Saturday, February 5, 2011

Issue #5 Love/Hate list

Love:
1) The Court Tavern- It smells like piss
 and looks like shit, but where else can
 you get a High Life tall boy, see a great
show, and get a Fat Cat on the way home?
 Nowhere, that’s where.  The best bar in NJ.
2) The Asbury Lanes- Good sound, PBR on
 tap, tons of room and dope art work in the
 bar.  A great place to see shows and they
 treat bands good too.
3) Dive Bars- I like a bar where you don’t
really want tap beer because you know the
 mugs and taps haven’t been cleaned in a
decade. Dive bars normally smell like beer
from 1985, but they also are usually cheap,
un-crowded, and have a jukebox that hasn’t
been updated since your Dad hung out there.
Hate:
1) Going to court- The hours are boring,
 the days are long and it almost always
 costs you money.  Whether you’re a witness,
plaintiff, juror, or Defendant, court is lame.
2) Bowling- People are always like “Let’s get
 drunk and bowl” and I’m always all “Let’s get
 drunk and NOT bowl.”  Hey, ya wanna play with
 big, heavy balls invite me over on a Friday night.
 I’ll even shave so there smooth and shiny.
3) “Fancy” bars- I hate when a bar opens and
decides it’s gonna be all fancy be having weird
bar stools, expensive drinks & not showing
 sports on the TV.  If I wanted a night of drinking
 to cost a small fortune I would have gone to the titty
 bar.  Bars are for drinking. Not flashing your social
 standing.

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