I’ll give you 3 good reasons why Machete was the movie of the year.
1. Jessica Alba naked in the shower. Now you don’t get any full frontal, but there’s a ton of side boob and shiny skin. I mean, if she can make Good Luck Chuck and Into the Blue watchable she can make this movie great.
2. Lindsey Lohan bare chested. Okay, her tits are mostly covered by her hair, but I swear I saw some nipple in there.
3. Danny Trejo as the star. He’s got jailhouse tattoos and scarred up face but he also finally got a leading role and he was fucking awesome in it.
Need some more reasons to see it, well, how about the director Robert Rodriguez. He’s a great director and this is his best movie yet. Or how about the cast. Besides Alba and Lohan, there’s also the lawnmower man Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal (and his terrible Spanish ascent), Don Johnson, a superhot Michelle Rodriguez, and Bobby De Niro. If that’s not enough, there’s also blood and guts, drinking and drugging, and tits and ass. Plus, the movies pretty funny too (especially the “Machete doesn’t text” line). I feel a lot of people slept on this movie in the theatre. Don’t sleep on the DVD. You heard it here. Movie of the year.
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