Why me, why me?

This is a move that I think one day might land this guy in the Alco-Hall of Fame

Alco-Hall of Fame

Some people never drink a drop.  Some drink only occasionally.  Some others drink often, and there’s a few that drink constantly.  But even fewer live alcohol.  These man below changed alcohol.  The three men Jasper, Adolphus and John changed the way alcohol was made, advertised, transported and ultimately consumed.  Without these men, Mickey, Keith and Andre might not be here today.  But these three men on the right belong here also.  They showed that you could be a true master of your profession and be drunk off your ass most of the time.  All three of these men are Hall of Famer’s in their respected craft and now are being honored once again.  Without any more hesitation, I present to you:

The Inaugural Class of the Alco-Hall of Fame

Jasper Newton Daniel-“Jack” b.1850-d.1911

He learned how to make whiskey from a Lutheran Minister at the age of 10 and, at age 11, ran whiskey to soldiers as far south as Huntsville, AL (From Lynchburg, TN).   At 13, he took over the business from the minister and at 16 was making quite a living distilling whiskey.  Was one of the first in the US to age whiskey and worked tirelessly to improve the taste and character of his whiskey.  Never a stranger to wacky promotions, he advertised his whiskey through crazy promotions, hot air balloons, and even the Jack Daniel’s Original Silver Cornet Band.  All of it paid off in making Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey one of the most recognizable labels in the alcohol world.  The whiskey is a 7 time gold medal winner.

 Adolphus Busch-b.1839-d.1913

He was born into the business as his parents worked in winery and brewery supplies.  At age 17 married into the Anheuser family.  When his father died he inherited some money and used it to start a wholesale brewer’s supply store.  Four years later he bought into Eberhard Anheuser’s brewery.    Sometime in the early 1870’s he started pasteurizing his beer and by the middle 1870’s and early 1880’s he developed a system of artificial refrigeration, refrigerated railcars, and rail side ice houses.  He turned Budweiser (introduced in 1876) into the first national beer (before that beer was a very local thing, not available much more than a couple miles away from the brewery it was made).  Later, he introduced Michelob, America’s first specialty beer, and was an early proponent of bottling beer.  He was also the first in a long line of brewing Busches that includes August Busch IV, who still sits on the board at Bud/InBev.  He basically changed the way beer was sold, bought and consumed.

 John Jameson-“Glorious John Jameson” b.1740-d.1823¹

Although he was born a Scot, he died an Irishman.  He bought the Bow Street Distillery in 1780 and started making his name sake whiskey.  A stickler for the best ingredients, he was known to pay top dollar for the very best and even personally select the barley and casks being used.  He even went one step further in using triple distillation instead of the standard double which was used in Scotland at the time.  Paid his employees top dollar and even drank with the men after work.  He was also known to throw some of Dublin’s best parties at his Bow Street location.  Jameson is now the #1 selling Irish whiskey in the world.

Mickey Mantle- “The Commerce Comet” b.1931-d.1995

Mickey was the most popular player, on the most popular team, playing the most popular sport, in the largest city in the US, and took full advantage of it.  By all accounts he played as hard under the neon lights as he did the stadium lights.  Drinking buddies with Billy Martin, Whitey Ford and many other teammates along with Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr.  Got into a massive brawl with teammates (including Martin, Ford and Yogi Berra) sticking up for Sammy Davis at The Copacabana after somebody was yelling racial slurs at Sammy.  He later testified in court, under oath, “I was so drunk I don’t know who threw the first punch.”  Checked into the Betty Ford Clinic after he was told “you’re next drink may be your last.”   He received a liver transplant in June 1995, as his original one was damaged by alcohol induced cirrhosis and hep C.  After the transplant he was quoted as saying “if I knew I was gonna live this long I would have taken better care of myself.”  He died in August later that year.

Keith Moon- “Moon the Loon” b.1935-d.1978

Rock and Roll’s history is full of users and boozers but, Moon stands alone.  Moon, drunk at his 21st birthday party at a Holiday Inn began the celebration by blowing the toilet in his room to pieces with dynamite.  He then allegedly drove a Cadillac into the hotel pool (Moon definitely drove a car into the pool; he says it was a Lincoln Continental though).  Then, On January 4th 1970, Moon was involved in a car-pedestrian death outside the Red Lion pub in England.  While trying to escape hostile patrons from the pub that had begun to attack his Bentley, Moon, drunk, attempted to take control of his car, which in the melee, ran over and killed his friend, driver, and bodyguard Neil Boland.  Moon’s charges were dismissed but still, he did it.  Moon was also in a drinking club with Alice Cooper called “The Hollywood Vampires”.  Friend and fellow drummer Ringo Starr told Moon that if he kept going the way he was he would eventually kill himself. Moon simply replied "Yeah, I know.  Moon finally did kill himself with a lethal dose of booze and pills.

André René Roussimoff- “Andre the Giant” b.1946-1993

I think one thing is certain and un-debate-able, there has never been a bigger drunk then this man.  He was a fan of good beer, whiskey, wine and cognac but when the good stuff wasn’t around the cheap shit would do.  Andre was once rumored to drink 114 beers and then have wine with dinner.  When an anesthesiologist asked him how much hard alcohol it took to get him drunk Andre replied “2 liters of vodka and I start to feel a buzz.”  On top of all that, Andre was always the driver home (and I’m sure no one ever tried taking his keys).

¹ I am upset that I couldn’t find a useable picture of Mr. Jameson for the Hall.  Anytime you search John Jameson and photos you just get back pictures of bottles and Jenna Jameson.  Even on Jameson’s company web site there was not a useable photo.  Oh well, enjoy the photo of the bottle.

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Get a haircut and pick up issue #5 at

Calabrese's Barber Shop

33 West Front St.

Keyport, NJ

Issue #5 Albums I Love 2010

Unlike previous years when I’ve had top 10’s and even 20’s this year there’s only five. That’s not meant to imply that said five albums are just the best of a year that’s short on great music. They would all be on any top list I made regardless of when they were released. My top five albums of 2010 go as follows:

The Obvious – Bringing Wreck – This was without a doubt the most highly anticipated for me. I had first seen this band about a year prior and been entranced by the combination of their sound, energy, enthusiasm and talent ever since. Sadly I had nothing to own and listen to whenever I felt like it with the exception of having “K.O.? O.K.!” (which continues to be my favorite track) on the pop out player of my myspace profile. Take everything you love about 90’s grunge (especially the female fronted bands) and mix it with everything you love about whatever you’d classify a group like Yeah Yeah Yeahs as, and you have a pretty good idea where this band is coming from. It’s only a five song EP, so making it flawless is a little easier than it is with a full length. But considering I love everything else I’ve heard from this group’s live sets I don’t doubt that they’re capable of releasing just as perfect an entire album.

Black Wine – Black Wine – Continuing with the awesome resurgence of the 90’s alt/grunge sound most of us grew up on, but still making it their own and not coming off as some sort of retro gimmick is Black Wine with their self-titled release. Comprised of the former rhythm section of Hunchback and Jeff Schroeck formerly of The Ergs it’s no wonder this is incredible. While the members are all capable of all sorts of intricate musicianship their guitar/bass/drum acrobatics and feedback squeals never come at a cost of keeping the melody intact. My personal favorite track would have to be “Chateau Of Ghosts”.

Screaming Females – Castle Talk – Much like their previous release this album took longer to grow on me than their first two. The great songs are all there, but the downside of our fellow New Jerseyan’s meteoric rise to national prominence is that they’re always on the road and we’re not hearing the songs in the basements of New Brunswick or the local venues we love prior to their release. We had grown accustomed to seeing the songs played live for months before actually owning them to listen to at our convenience. Sadly now we have to wait for the album to drop like the rest of the country. And when the tour comes “home” it’s way the hell up in Hoboken. Songs like “I Don’t Mind It” and my personal favorite “Sheep” however make the wait feel worth it.

Gogol Bordello – Trans-Continental Hustle – Odds are you already know who this band is/what they’re about and already have your good, bad or indifferent feelings about them. Personally I love them. This was the most pleasant surprise of the year to me in that it was promoted very little prior to its release. I had literally gone to the store to purchase the next album on the list as part of my wife’s birthday present and right by it in the new releases section was this. Since becoming an ipod owner it’s rare that my car cd player sees much use anymore, but I had to open and put this in immediately on my drive home. This album is easily the equal if not the superior of their previous release. Also on the off chance you need to still be further sold on this it was produced by Rick Ruben.

Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings – I Learned The Hard Way – Whether it was released this past year or had it come from soul’s inception in the 60’s/70’s this would still be one of the finest offerings the genre had to offer. Musically this is one of the tightest and most impressive ensembles you could ask for. Combine that with the relatable lyrical content and urgency of delivery from the voice of Sharon Jones, and it is an unstoppable force.

Issue #5 Love/Hate list

Love:

1) The Court Tavern- It smells like piss

 and looks like shit, but where else can

 you get a High Life tall boy, see a great

show, and get a Fat Cat on the way home?

 Nowhere, that’s where.  The best bar in NJ.

2) The Asbury Lanes- Good sound, PBR on

 tap, tons of room and dope art work in the

 bar.  A great place to see shows and they

 treat bands good too.

3) Dive Bars- I like a bar where you don’t

really want tap beer because you know the

 mugs and taps haven’t been cleaned in a

decade. Dive bars normally smell like beer

from 1985, but they also are usually cheap,

un-crowded, and have a jukebox that hasn’t

been updated since your Dad hung out there.

Hate:

1) Going to court- The hours are boring,

 the days are long and it almost always

 costs you money.  Whether you’re a witness,

plaintiff, juror, or Defendant, court is lame.

2) Bowling- People are always like “Let’s get

 drunk and bowl” and I’m always all “Let’s get

 drunk and NOT bowl.”  Hey, ya wanna play with

 big, heavy balls invite me over on a Friday night.

 I’ll even shave so there smooth and shiny.

3) “Fancy” bars- I hate when a bar opens and

decides it’s gonna be all fancy be having weird

bar stools, expensive drinks & not showing

 sports on the TV.  If I wanted a night of drinking

 to cost a small fortune I would have gone to the titty

 bar.  Bars are for drinking. Not flashing your social

 standing.

Year in Sports

Downhill hottie Lindsey Vonn captured gold in Vancouver (along with my heart), while the Flying Tomato and party animal Bode Miller also did their country proud by winning gold…Drew Brees and the Saints finally gave New Orleans something to cheer about winning the first Super Bowl in franchise history in what was another tough year for the city.  WHO DAT?...   And although Reggie Bush did win a ring, he did lose his Heisman Trophy and Kim Kardashian…  The Celtics won the east beating the Cleveland Cavaliers but went on to lose in the Finals to the Los Angeles Lakers, giving Phil Jackson more rings then fingers…   The World Cup happened in South Africa this year and Americans pretended to care up until Ghana beat us (Spain won)…  The San Francisco Giants won their first World Series since moving from NY this year, ending a 56 year drought.  They did it behind the weed smoking of ace pitcher Tim Lincecum…  Some other stuff happened in Hockey and Tennis but who really cares right?...  Floyd Mayweather Jr. looked scared to fight Manny Pacquiao and still does.  Floyd did however steal his girlfriends IPHONE in an attempt to look tough though…Free agent Lebron James signed with the Miami Heat and took tons of shit over his decision.  Personally I could care less what uniform he’s in to dunk over people.  Let the haters hate King…  Over all, A pretty good year in sports (unless you’re a Cubs fan) and I’m looking forward to a good 2011. Go Athletics.

Issue #5- Movie of the Year



I’ll give you 3 good reasons why Machete was the movie of the year.

1.       Jessica Alba naked in the shower.  Now you don’t get any full frontal, but there’s a ton of side boob and shiny skin.  I mean, if she can make Good Luck Chuck and Into the Blue watchable she can make this movie great.

2.       Lindsey Lohan bare chested.  Okay, her tits are mostly covered by her hair, but I swear I saw some nipple in there.

3.       Danny Trejo as the star.  He’s got jailhouse tattoos and scarred up face but he also finally got a leading role and he was fucking awesome in it.

Need some more reasons to see it, well, how about the director Robert Rodriguez.  He’s a great director and this is his best movie yet.  Or how about the cast.  Besides Alba and Lohan, there’s also the lawnmower man Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal (and his terrible Spanish ascent), Don Johnson, a superhot Michelle Rodriguez, and Bobby De Niro.  If that’s not enough, there’s also blood and guts, drinking and drugging, and tits and ass.  Plus, the movies pretty funny too (especially the “Machete doesn’t text” line).  I feel a lot of people slept on this movie in the theatre.  Don’t sleep on the DVD.  You heard it here.  Movie of the year.

Issue #5- OUT NOW



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Sexy drunks

Bert respectfully thought this was La Palabra material.  I agreed.

Un-used back cover

Every issue there's a bunch of pictures I want to use for the back cover.  This is one that actually was printed, titled, and taped before I decieded to go with another picture.  It's just too good to not be seen.  Enjoy.