Issue #6 Love/Hate

LOVE:

1.The Oakland Atletics, 2.New Jersey, 3.the movie Pulp Fiction, 4.90’s hip hop, 5.big asses, 6.the songs “Nothing Compares 2 U” and “Break My Stride”, 7.Latin food, 8.not texting, 9.porn ,10.The Beach Boys, 11.being lazy on Sundays, 12.Timberland boots, 13.HJ’s, 14.80’s pop music, 15.Robert Redford movies, 16.Redman, 17.rodizio and sangria, 18.passing out wasted drunk, 19.whiz wit-out cheesesteaks, 20.St. Ann’s Festa, 21.making out like teenagers, 22.”this one’s on the house” drinks, 23.ska for people who hate ska, 24.cursing, 25.cooking, 26.the phrase “off the chain”, 27.the book A Clockwork Orange, 28.a cup of tea w/ a shot of Jameson, 29.thermals, 30. The Simpsons, 31. Italian food in the Northeast

HATE:

1.mayo, 2.people who don’t clean the snow off their car, 3.the song “Drop It Like It’s Hot”, 4.The Red Hot Chili Peppers, 5.last call, 6.beershits, 7.Phil Collins, 8.shaving, 9.having to go to work, 10.tricked out cars, 11.Nicolas Cage, 12.eating healthy, 13.the comic strip The Family Circus, 14.the Rutgers footbal program, 15.paying for parking, 16.raking leaves, 17.banana candy, 18.that “what up with that” skit on SNL, 19.Lil Wayne, 20.wearing my seatbelt, 21.people who wear beanies in the summertime, 22.J.D. Salinger books, 23.Rt 78, 24.mushrooms, 25.cleaning up after cooking, 26.constant complainers, 27.swagger jackers, 28.exercising, 29.TNS on crew neck shirts, 30.people with coffee breath, 31. Italian food anywhere but the Northeast

Issue #5 Love/Hate list

Love:

1) The Court Tavern- It smells like piss

 and looks like shit, but where else can

 you get a High Life tall boy, see a great

show, and get a Fat Cat on the way home?

 Nowhere, that’s where.  The best bar in NJ.

2) The Asbury Lanes- Good sound, PBR on

 tap, tons of room and dope art work in the

 bar.  A great place to see shows and they

 treat bands good too.

3) Dive Bars- I like a bar where you don’t

really want tap beer because you know the

 mugs and taps haven’t been cleaned in a

decade. Dive bars normally smell like beer

from 1985, but they also are usually cheap,

un-crowded, and have a jukebox that hasn’t

been updated since your Dad hung out there.

Hate:

1) Going to court- The hours are boring,

 the days are long and it almost always

 costs you money.  Whether you’re a witness,

plaintiff, juror, or Defendant, court is lame.

2) Bowling- People are always like “Let’s get

 drunk and bowl” and I’m always all “Let’s get

 drunk and NOT bowl.”  Hey, ya wanna play with

 big, heavy balls invite me over on a Friday night.

 I’ll even shave so there smooth and shiny.

3) “Fancy” bars- I hate when a bar opens and

decides it’s gonna be all fancy be having weird

bar stools, expensive drinks & not showing

 sports on the TV.  If I wanted a night of drinking

 to cost a small fortune I would have gone to the titty

 bar.  Bars are for drinking. Not flashing your social

 standing.

Christmas love/hate

There’s a thin line between love and hate but this thing falls way to the left AND the right of that line

LOVE:

Christmas-Seeing old friends, spending time with family, shopping for gifts for loved ones, receiving gifts, hearing Christmas music everywhere, drinking eggnog, going to midnight mass.  It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

HATE:

Christmas-Seeing old friends you don’t wanna see, spending time with family you don’t even like, having to buy gifts for loved ones, receiving crappy gifts you don’t even want, hearing Christmas music everywhere,  drinking too much eggnog, being guilted into going to midnight mass.  It’s the most horrible time of the year.

Issue #4 Love/Hate List

There’s a thin line between love and hate but these things fall way to the left or right of that line.

LOVE

1. McDonald’s- You want some nuggets?

Yeah.  Double cheeseburger?   Double Yeah. 

Fries and a shake?  Hell Yeah!  Tasty, cheap

and it makes me shit within 15 mins. of eating. 

Win, win, and win.  And hey, let’s bring back

the McRib while we’re at it.

2. Meat and candy- One of life’s simple

pleasures is a steak for supper and a bag

of Sour Patch Kids for dessert.  Who needs

food groups or a pyramid when all you need

is meat and candy.

3. Hot Sauce- Ever see the movie Undercover

Brother when Eddie Griffin has that hot sauce

watch-I want that shit.  I put hot sauce on almost

everything and I think you should too.

Hate

1. McDonald’s Commercial’s- I may love it,

but McDonald’s doesn’t make high quality,

4 star food.  Why try to get all fancy and

complicated by acting like you’re a coffee

shop or salad center.  I got one word for

their commercials-Horrible’

2. Vegetables- They may be good for you.  They

may provide vitamins and nutrients.  They may

even be essential to your diet.  But, do they taste

good?  No!  If they did would you have to force

kids to eat them.  Exactly.

3. Cold ketchup- Why put cold ketchup on hot food. 

I just don’t get it..

Issue #3 Love/Hate List

There’s a thin line between love and hate but these things fall way to the left or to the right of that line.

LOVE

1.Jon- Cash, Malkovich, Stewart-

all of them are masters of there

craft.  What’s not to love.

2.Cougars-Let’s see: You’re hot,

single, 40, and ya wanna fuck.

I don’t know, sounds amazing

to me.

3.Melons-Whether were talking

fresh fruit or big tits I’m down for

whatever.

4.Camp-I never went, but unless

it was fat or bible camp, you

probably loved it.

Hate

1.John Cougar Mellencamp-

I got a  little diddy, and It’s about how

this guy sucks.  I hope Jack and Dianne

are real people so they can choke him

 out for sharing all their personal business.

That’s private shit this idiots singing about.  I

hope Van Morrison fucks this guy up for

ruining a good song.  I hope that while

performing at Farm Aid, he somehow

catches Farm Aids.  And, I also hope that

Willie Nelson doesn’t share any of his

weed with him.

Issue #2 Love/Hate List

There’s a thin line between love and hate but these things fall way to the left or right of that line.

Love:

  1)The Office-The shows cast

and writing is amazing.  I’m 100%

addicted to this show.  Funny

thing is I only watch reruns.  I

don’t even know what time or day

the new episodes are on.

2)Cinnamon gum-Big red is way

better than juicy fruit or any other

wack ass, strong ass mint flavor.  By

the way, if they have wintermint, why

not a spring or summermint?  Just

saying.

3)The 4^th of July-Food, fun and

fireworks.  It’s America’s birthday,

what the fucks there not to love.

Hate:

1)The Office-Fuck that place.  They had

High Life there once till Dave and me

drank it all in a day and they never got it

back.  Good business, you sell out of

something in one day and never bring it

back.  Genius.

2)Cinnamon candy-Hot tamales, Red Hot

Dollars, Atomic Fireballs-they all suck.

Cinnamon flavor’s for chewing or making

French toast.  That’s it.

3)The 4^th of January-XMass-over, New Years-

   finished, Alcoholidays-done.  3 more months

   of cold, shitty weather-still to come.  Nuff said.

Issue #1 Love/Hate List

LOVE/HATE LIST

There’s a thin line between love and hate but these things fall way to the left or right of that line.

Love:

1)My Girlfriend-It’s gay & I’ll

get made fun of it but I don’t care.

She’s hot, cool, & let’s me get away

with being drunk, ALOT.  A real

keeper in my book.

2)The Perfect Poo-You go to wipe &

there’s nothing there.  It’s like magic.

3)Eagles-Bald, screaming, or

even the Philadelphia version

are all cool by me.  A badass

bird, an awesome logo and

a sign of American pride.  KAW!

Hate:

1)Your girlfriend-Shut her up already.

I don’t bang her so I don’t want to

hear her.  Plus she’s got big tits I

can’t help but stare at and besides

that, you’re a douche bag that

doesn’t deserve her.

2)The 2 shower shit-It’s disgusting.

it breaks off wrong and you need

a whole roll of toilet paper & two

showers to clean up from it.  GROSS!

3)The Eagles-Don Henley & crew can

kiss it.  “Desperado” is gay, “Witchy

Woman” sucks and I want to burn

Down the “Hotel California”.  Hopefully

They live there “Life in The Fast Lane”

And get hit by a speeding bus.